Worms - Part One
Bella was a natural at erecting the tent. She insisted on doing it all by herself while Theo went about preparing their dinner, which consisted of pre-cooked pasta and pesto sauce with chopped salami. Theo stuffed the remaining food into the campsite’s bear box and tried to reassure Bella, who was flitting around nervously, poking the flimsy tent walls.
“Bears don’t eat people, don’t worry,” Theo said, amused.
“Have you ever seen a bear?”
“Yeah I have. The bastard ate my bagels.”
Bella giggled. As they ate, Bella revealed her impressive knowledge on the range of the three bear species in North America. Theo tried not to look completely oblivious. Bella had been accepted into the advanced track of her high school, the same giant public school that had swallowed and digested Theo a decade prior. She was learning about bears, apparently. Theo had never even considered applying to the advanced track. He remembered his high school years as little as he could get away with; he kept the experience locked squarely away with other damp and putrid memories. Having nearly been thrown from his home by his parents and making a number of embarrassing and often dangerous choices, Theo saw Bella’s delight in learning with pride, but also a pang of regret.
Theo had bought a case of beer for the trip, although he didn’t drink much anymore. As the sun set, he handed one to Bella, who’s eyes widened at the can.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had a beer before,” Theo said with a sly smile as he fell into a weathered camp chair.
“I have, but only crappy stuff that my friends have bought. I didn’t think you would let me!” Bella slid into the chair beside Theo, opened the can and took a sip. “Tastes terrible though.”
“You’ll learn to like it."
The campground snaked around a golden hill on either side of a narrow dirt road. The hill tumbled down into a wide valley, giving the sites on the hill a clear view of the rolling golden landscape beyond. Grass swayed in waves with the meandering breeze. The hill was flanked by swathes of trees sprouting from the water channels that lead down the valley. The sun was setting, clearly visible over the treetops in the valley. A deep orange burn, frilled by clouds streaking the sky in broad brush strokes, which caught the light so that the bases of the clouds seemed to glow warmly and pop against the sea-gray sky. The sunset wrapped them for a moment, dampening the conversation.
A narrow cloud moved in front of the sun, cutting a purple wound. A breeze rustled the trees around them. A crow cawed from above them. Then, a low rumble. A car, from up the road. Theo turned to peer at it in the quickly fading light. It was an old Jeep, blaring classic rock. It flung by them, not slowing down, even though the road was windy and narrow through the campground. An American flag flew from the back, and a number of bright red stickers that were too difficult to read were slapped on the bumper. Theo didn’t catch a sight of the driver, but something in him hoped they did not plan on staying nearby.
“Idiots. Can’t they see how the road turns? They are totally blind to incoming cars,” Bella said. Theo turned, surprised.
“Since when do you know how to drive?” He asked. Bella was sixteen, but their mother was willing to drive Bella anywhere she asked. Theo could barely remember their mother driving him anywhere.
“Since I started doing drivers ED online. I’m going to get my license before I graduate.”
“You think so?” Theo said with an edge he didn’t quite mean. Bella gave him a light punch in the arm. Theo could still hear the Jeep’s music. It sounded like they had parked nearby. They had better not keep him up all night, he thought.
“So, are we gonna make a fire or what?” Bella asked. She threw a leaf at the firepit and watched it settle into the ashes.
“Can’t. Late summer, the county says no fires. Don’t want to be liable for another million acres.”
Theo saw Bella’s face fall, so he got up and rummaged through his bag.
“Hold on,” he said as he produced three long candles.
“Even better than a fire, ’cause you can play with the wax!” Theo lit the candles, and was glad to see Bella’s flickering smile in the candlelight.
They watched as the last rays of sunlight burnt themselves out on the horizon. Theo cracked another can of beer. They talked for another two hours while the candle wax dripped down the sides of the wax pillars. Bella regaled Theo with drama from her school, the town, their parents, their cat. Theo told a few stories of his adventures in the Sierras and the Oregon coast. To Theo’s amusement, every rustle in the dark made Bella jump and eye the bushes. The nerves of someone unused to sharing darkness with the wild. But Theo was used to it. Loved it. Darkness wrapped around himself and Bella like a cool velvet blanket. Above them, the pinpricks of early constellations twinkled into view. They were only a few miles from town, but still they could make out the milky way spilled out across the sky. They sat in awe of the night for some time in silence.
“Do you know anything about philosophy?” Bella asked quietly. The candles were barely more than sputtering nubs.
“I don’t know,” he said. “What are you thinking about?”
“My school doesn’t teach it. I don’t know, I’m just curious. Like, what the meaning of life is and all that?” She asked.
“Well, that’s the big question, right?” Theo sighed. “I don’t think there is one. I mean, people have been trying to think about it for as long as humans have been around. They fight over it, kill each other over it, write books about it. I haven’t read any of the books, so I don’t know, but it seems like there are too many opinions for there to be any one answer.”
“Well, there might be a right answer. Or maybe an answer that makes us happier, at least.”
“Everything is too random. There’s no meaning. There can’t be anything inherent to the universe like that.”
“What about love?”
“Just chemicals! Sure it feels good. But all it means is that we are alive.”
“Maybe.”
“You disagree?”
“I think meaning is a feeling. Like, you can feel it, right? I know when something is meaningful to me. When it is so important that without it, I wouldn’t be me. Maybe it’s just chemicals, but it’s also meaning.”
Theo thought for a moment, then, “You can feel meaning?”
“Well, yeah I think so,” Bella said. “Can’t you?”
They sat there a while longer, talking occasionally but mostly staring upwards. The sky stretched out to infinity, a vast body that looked right back at them, beckoned to them. The body pressed Theo back into the earth, shifting his perception of up and down. He could feel the slow turn of the planet as it pivoted on its axis; feel the G of the planet latched on to him. Earth and Sky pulled him in both directions, fixing him firmly in place on the creaky old camp chair. Bella stood up, tumbling Theo from his reverie. She mumbled about sleep and brushed her teeth. Theo managed to extract himself from the chair and follow her. Sleep came easily to the both of them, and soon the little campsite was quiet save for snores and the patter of small animals in the dark.
A shout yanked Theo from unconsciousness. He coughed, something in the air. The sky was dark, no stars. Clouds? Haze? He sat up. Something was wrong. Bella coughed next to him. She was still asleep.
“Get up,” Theo said. There was a glow behind one wall of the tent. He pushed at the fabric, momentarily forgetting where the zipper was. He found it and tugged the flap open with a shaky hand.
Fire. It was big, big enough for the glow to be seen around the corner of the hill. He couldn’t see any flames, but the smoke was everywhere and the air was warm. He peeled the sleeping bag off of his body and realized he was sweating. He stared out into the night and shook the cobwebs of sleep from his mind. He was at a campground. Bella was here. They had driven here from home. He got out of the tent unsteadily and moved toward where he remembered the car was. A flash of metal and an engine roar sent Theo jumping backward as the Jeep flew around the corner away from the fire. This time, Theo saw the driver, an older white man in a baseball cap. His eyes were wide and bulging out of his face as he passed.
Flames erupted from the tire tracks and a loud crash sent sparks shooting over their heads. The fire had followed the Jeep around the corner, and now two pines on either side of the road were aflame at their base. The ground between them swept with a river of light, bright orange and yellow billowing black smoke into the air. Theo coughed again and wrapped one of his discarded layers around his face. Beside him, Bella did the same. Theo ran for the car and fumbled with the keys, dropping them. He cursed as he dropped to the ground, bleary eyed from the smoke. His hands grasped desperately onto what felt like the keys.
Inside the car, he started the engine and backed it up against their tent. He got out and began pulling the tent stakes. The air was so choked with smoke that Bella could barely help, she was coughing so much. It was getting hotter.
“Get in the car!” Theo shouted at her over the blazing and popping sounds that now barraged their eardrums. He threw their belongings into the trunk, but it was not fast enough. The heat of the fire burned his arms, neck and head. Exposed skin bagan to sizzle. Abandoning the tent, Theo whirled around to find the car door, but the movement made him dizzy. He was facing a wall of fire. Orange tongues seared themselves onto his retinas, and a scream penetrated through the roar of combustion. Thick air hacked its way into his lungs. Something hit his left side and then he was on the ground, gasping for breath. His skin was popping, bubbling with pain. He willed his legs to work, to lead him away from the enraged flames and drowning smoke. His vision pulsed bright and painful and his hands waved uselessly in front of him.
Then, somehow, a car door handle was in his hand. He pulled and launched his body into the car. The world blurred, and numbness enveloped Theo as unconsciousness took him once more.